I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
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I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.