she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving