Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dating After Heartbreak
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.