I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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