Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
