We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
