I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Success! We fucked roommates!
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