to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
