ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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