thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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