JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize