maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
