i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
