the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
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thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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