3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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