i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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