I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
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He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
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If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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