I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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