so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
