have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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