all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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