I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
