Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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