you're like a bully in the Christmas story
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
