i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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