how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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