Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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