Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize