all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
