so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
