Joe is yelling at the trees again.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
