my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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