i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
