I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
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I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
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Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.