We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
