You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm an idiot
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
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so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
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When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend