She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
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My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
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My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.