So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.