well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer