i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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