hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
