i need an iv and a liver transplant
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
