Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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