girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
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I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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