Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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