You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
