Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
