Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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