12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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