i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
