U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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