he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Boobs speak an international language.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Randomize
