some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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