Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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