we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
