Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
