Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
