fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
