The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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