It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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