i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
