I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
