I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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