Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
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the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
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Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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