But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
