glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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