it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
