Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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