How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
