i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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