i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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