East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
