I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
