'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
